Sooooo it happened! I was laying in bed, my son had allowed me to rock him to sleep, I was streaming a great series (with at least 3 seasons) and i thought to myself, “I’m hella happy single, I don’t even need a man”. 😬
Now, looking back i’m still unsure of what i meant exactly. It could have been literal. As in i was completely content with everyone in my life and a man is not a necessity for my future. Or, the more accurate, I was completely proud of the growth i was showing being single, happy, whole and grateful with what I have instead of focusing on the lack of a man as i’ve been known to do in my past. Because I know I desire to be a wife we’ll go with this one. Here’s the problem. Now, single was my comfort zone! I began thinking about dating and making time for a man. The thought of it was undesirable. I had worked so hard on self-love, self-awareness, protecting my peace and grasping a greater understanding of life i didn’t want to share me with a man. So i layed there. Completely single and completely unbothered.
I thought about those women who have been saying “Jesus is my boyfriend” for 10yrs now and pick apart every man they meet. I refuse to be that lady! But if im honest, i can see how/why they stay in their zone. The process of dating can be a challenge. Especially when you have overcome so much and been hurt by so many. You figure, ” I’d rather be by myself than let another man manipulate me or tear me down”. You may even start to date and a few of those unhealthy traits you seen in your ex are staring at you from across the table. I get it, i get it.
Because of that i want to give a MAJOR KEY sized tip to my “Best Self Builders”. Make sure your relationship with God is priority in your life and that it stays growing.Heres the thing. We put up so many different types of defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from pain. But the more you grow closer to God the more you can use Gods techniques instead of your own. God can break our hard layers and allow us to be kind and feminine while still protecting our hearts through discernment and intuition. God can allow us to live in our truth, that we do need a man, yet not relinquishing an ounce of power in who we have become simply by the awareness of who God says we are. Now before you flip out about my “need a man” comment lets be clear about 2 things kay? 1. Just about 4 years ago I was telling someone I was dating “I don’t need you, i want you”. And God made an honest woman out of me because i didn’t need that joker! He is NOT the huaband. 2. If you desire to be a wife, you NEED a husband. Point. Blank. Period. No you don’t need any ole man cause you’re not just anybody. But you do need a man. The man. The one God has for you. Like i need the one God has for me and i’m excited to continue developing my dopeness knowing that’s bringing me closer to him and Jesus won’t be my plus one when my sons in high school… Inshallah 🙌
Keep reigning & doing single successfully